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From the Sunday Times top ten bestselling author of The Psychopath Test, a captivating and brilliant exploration of one of our world's most underappreciated forces: shame.
'It's about the terror, isn't it?' 'The terror of what?' I said. 'The terror of being found out.'
For the past three years, Jon Ronson has travelled the world meeting recipients of high-profile public shamings. The shamed are people like us - people who, say, made a joke on social media that came out badly, or made a mistake at work. Once their transgression is revealed, collective outrage circles with the force of a hurricane and the next thing they know they're being torn apart by an angry mob, jeered at, demonized, sometimes even fired from their job.
A great renaissance of public shaming is sweeping our land. Justice has been democratized. The silent majority are getting a voice. But what are we doing with our voice? We are mercilessly finding people's faults. We are defining the boundaries of normality by ruining the lives of those outside it. We are using shame as a form of social control.
Simultaneously powerful and hilarious in the way only Jon Ronson can be, So You've Been Publicly Shamed is a deeply honest book about modern life, full of eye-opening truths about the escalating war on human flaws - and the very scary part we all play in it.
Jon Ronson is an award-winning writer and documentary maker. He is the author of two bestsellers, Them: Adventures with Extremists and The Men Who Stare at Goats, and two collections, Out of the Ordinary: True Tales of Everyday Craziness and What I Do: More True Tales of Everyday Craziness. He lives in London.
- Sales Rank: #150 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-03-31
- Released on: 2015-03-31
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 446 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
92 of 93 people found the following review helpful.
"It was like we were ... making war on other people's flaws"
By S. McGee
If you're at all involved with social media, I'm willing to bet that if you stop and think for even a few seconds, you can come up with an example of someone -- famous or previously anonymous -- who has been publicly shamed. A car wash worker just lost his job for making disgusting, racist comments about President Obama's daughter -- the ensuing kerfuffle probably ended up winning a larger audience for those comments than he would have had in the first place, ironically enough. There was the tennis championship commenter who asked a female contestant to "give us a twirl" as she went out onto the court for her match (to show off her garb and legs), and more recently, the obituary writer who chose to comment, unflatteringly, on author Colleen McCullough's looks as if they were as important as her achievements. All have been named and shamed online. And that's just off the top of my head, in the last week or two.
The tool of shaming someone publicly for breaking the law or violating the social contract in some other way is as old as time. But with the advent of the Internet, and specifically, the rise of tools like Twitter, shaming can go viral instantly. Instead of your immediate community knowing what you did wrong -- and deciding whether and when to forgive you, because they may have a sense of the broader context and of who you are as a person beyond that misstep -- the entire world now becomes aware, instantly, without any of that context. And the results, as Ronson shows, can be horrifying and potentially disproportionate. Imagine cracking a joke that you know that some folks might consider off color to a buddy sitting next to you at a conference presentation -- then having the woman in front of you turn around, snap your picture, smile at you -- and tweet about how offensive your comments were to women, already a minority and arguably struggling to find a way to feel comfortable in Silicon Valley's "bro culture". That's "D***legate", and it's one of the case studies that Ronson looks at to explore how the Internet has transformed public shaming from one form of potentially violent public pillorying and whipping to a non-violent but far longer lasting and even more damaging variant.
Since Ronson's focus is on the post-Twitter era, you won't find much here about folks like Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, although Ronson explores an argument that suggests sexual misdeeds are viewed with more tolerance by potential shamers than other transgressions (in contrast to the past, when swingers "outed" by the News of the World committed suicide). But whether the name is a familiar one -- Jonah Lehrer, popular science writer pilloried for inventing quotes and for recycling his own content -- or someone unknown, such as the teenager turned into a pariah for mocking what she saw as a self-evident and superfluous sign at Arlington national cemetery requesting silence and respect -- he does a good job of exploring different examples of shame and reasons for shaming, as well as the societal and historical context.
Ronson does occasionally fall into the trap of what I refer to as "stunt" anecdotes: going off to explore things as a participant and taking notes because he knows it will make a good part of the copy to be a fly on the wall. So, the workshop on how to manage and address shame in which he participates becomes a gratuitous anecdote, and some other similar segments felt like overkill.
My five-star rating is as much for the timeliness of the topic as for the book's style and structure, which are really more average than the rating would suggest. It's an OK book, on a standalone basis, but it's the first to really assemble in a coherent fashion all the individual anecdotes and events around this particular theme. It certainly made me think. I've long been aware of the dangers of having a personal "brand", and been vigilant about what I say on social media and my privacy settings on Facebook, for instance. In the social media universe, there simply is no privacy -- or at least, none that you can count on -- and few of those "shame victims" that Ronson profiles in these pages are evil or malicious. Stupid, foolish, careless -- yes. Thoughtless, absolutely. But the shaming, the "mass online destruction" in which people seem to take such delight, seems so disproportionate. "We are defining the boundaries of normality by tearing apart the people outside of it."
This is a great starting point for dialog and discussion, and for that reason alone merits the full five stars.
151 of 161 people found the following review helpful.
Are you so sure it can't happen to you?
By Bookphile
Ronson starts his book off by recounting a personal story. A group of men who made highfalutin' claims to conducting some sort of social experiment set up a Twitter account using Ronson's name, though they claim they weren't trying to pretend to be him. This account began sending out Tweets that made Ronson fear that his friends and family would mistake them for some alternate universe of himself. He confronted the men on camera, the video was uploaded to YouTube, and commenters promptly began to wage a shame war on the perpetrators that ultimately ended with their taking down the fake Twitter account. Ah, sweet justice. Or was it?
Ronson began to wonder what happens to the people on the receiving end of an Internet mob's rage. Through digging into the stories of and conducting interviews with well-know people like disgraced author and journalist Jonah Lehrer and ordinary, previously unknown people like Justine Sacco, Ronson provides a vivid and disturbing picture of what happens to the people on the receiving end of vigilante-style justice and raises interesting philosophical questions about what this means for our larger culture.
This book in no way defends the actions of the people it depicts, though Ronson does have sympathy for his subjects. Instead, he poses a very thought-provoking question: are you so sure this can't happen to you? While it's one thing for the Internet to bring real criminal actions to light and ensure they don't go unpunished, it's another thing for someone who does something stupid or ill-conceived to be subjected to the same scrutiny. After all, how many of us can say we've never made a tasteless joke or said something others might construe as offensive because we thought it was "safe" to do so? In this digital age, when we're all trying to express ourselves in 140 characters or less, it's far easier for that message to reach an audience we didn't intend it to reach.
This book's strength is that it humanizes the people on the receiving end of Internet justice and makes you ponder whether the scorched earth campaign waged against people like Justine Sacco is justified. At the end of the day, her life has not only been damaged, but destroyed, and it may remain that way forever, thanks to Google taking and storing everything anyone has ever said online. Does that punishment really fit the crime?
You'll feel uncomfortable when you read this book, and you should. I know I did. I squirmed as I thought of the times when I jumped on the outrage bandwagon and then moved on with my life without really stopping to wonder what had become of the people on the other end of the outrage. People should be called out for their bad behavior, but do they deserve to have their lives decimated? Do they deserve for their family and friends to have to worry about being associated with them, for fear that their names might be tainted as well? Do they deserve threats of violence? As Ronson points out, there's a reason why the stocks and pillories were phased out of our system of justice. We ought to be alarmed that they're reappearing because, digital or no, the effects they have are real and lasting.
112 of 120 people found the following review helpful.
Absolutely FASCINATING - And Changed my Views
By Karie Hoskins
I found this book to be just fascinating. The title is certainly intriguing, but it was also a rare book that actually made me change my opinions on an issue. And THAT doesn't happen very often. I also think in the research and writing of this book, author Jon Ronson had a similar experience.
One of his first quick examples involves an LA Fitness that was shamed on social media because they wouldn't cancel the membership of a couple who had lost their jobs and couldn't afford the fees. The result of that was that LA Fitness backed down - a story that makes one believe in the "power of the people".
"Something of real consequence was happening. We were at the start of a great renaissance of public shaming. After a lull of almost 180 years (public punishments were phased out in 1837 in the United Kingdom and in 1839 in the United States), it was back in a big way. When we deployed shame, we were utilizing an immensely powerful tool. It was coercive, borderless, and increasing in speed and influence. Hierarchies were being leveled out. The silenced were getting a voice. It was like the democratization of justice."
He may have started this project with that feeling, I don't think he believed this at the end.
One famous (infamous) example of modern day public shaming was the story of Justine Sacco - a woman who had made a VERY ill-thought out tweet at the beginning of a plane flight to Africa - and whose life was ruined by the time she landed. (To confirm how long public shaming can stay with you - I just typed "Justine S" into a search engine - her name was the first result and this happened in 2013.) As Ronson researches her story, and more importantly, meets and talks to Justine, the far reaching implications of a mistaken action that took only seconds to take, becomes very clear to him.
"A life had been ruined. What was it for: just some social media drama? I think our natural disposition as humans is to plod along until we get old and stop. But with social media, we've created a stage for constant artificial high drama. Every day a new person emerges as a magnificent hero or a sickening villain. It's all very sweeping, and not the way we actually are as people. What rush was overpowering us at times like this? What were we getting out of it?"
While most of what Ronson examines is what the shaming does to the shamee - but also - what it says about those who participate. I don't remember him using the term "mob mentality" - but that phenomenon is the underlying message of these case studies.
The portion of the book that had the greatest impact on me was Ronson's conversations and dealing with judge Ted Poe. (I, and maybe others know of him without knowing him - the judge that imposes sentences on people like standing on street corners holding signs about their crimes. What I knew of him made me think he was cruel and something like a "hanging judge". WOW did I have a different opnion after reading this part of the book and what we has to say about the people he dealt with.
And I think (feel) the same thing happened to Ronson. As he speaking with Judge Poe, "Social media shamings are worse than your shamings," I suddenly said to Ted Poe. He looked taken aback. "They are worse," he replied. "They're anonymous." "Or even if they're not anonymous, it's such a pile-on they may as well be." "They're brutal," he said.
I almost hated to put this book down - but in the week since I did so, I've thought about it many, many times - and have mentioned and discussed it with most of my friends and family. This one will stick with me for a LONG time.
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